That's a whole lot of definition and encompasses the levels of "enthusiasm" from admirer to zealot. I'm not sure where to put myself within these definitions. I certainly admire Adam and, yes, I am definitely an aficionado, and perhaps a freak. While I might say that Adam is my boyfriend, well, because he is, I can surely say I am not his lover nor is he mine. Sigh.
The man has commanded my attention for more than a year and there is no sign that this will end soon, hopefully not ever. I have learned a lot over that year, I have acquired new skills, have set new goals which I work hard on. There are things I want to achieve. I am what is now referred to as an "old." And yet I look forward to my future. Nothing is over until it's over so you might as well do something fun.
The reason for this is not that Adam Lambert made me do it. The reason is I am making me do it but that's because getting to know Adam has struck a chord in me, made me remember when life was simpler, dreams were big, and when, frankly, life was much more fun. He is that kind of person. Someone very rare who simply inspires just by being himself. Adam is a hero of a sort. Rock stars aren't usually thought of as heros but I think that Adam is.
A hero is defined as someone who is a brave person. Adam is one of the bravest people I've ever come across and for a variety of reasons. He seems unafraid to simply be who he is and is amazingly unpretentious. I have no doubt there's an ego in there, probably a nice sized one, but he seems humble, grateful even for his opportunities in life and I'll bet he thanks all the gods and goddesses for the beautiful gift of an exceptional singing voice. He's still very young yet seems very grounded. Above all he is nice and I mean that nicely. He's much nicer than I am. I believe this is real as I've never heard a bad word said about him by anyone. That is no one. Everyone who speaks of him says that he's a great guy and I believe them, all of them.
Adam is a freak of nature in many ways. He's enthusiastically and firmly upbeat. I think about that a lot. It is nice to be nice and perhaps that's the way it's all supposed to be. Envision what you want, believe that you can do it, and you can. I think it's one of the lessons. Practicing that is not always easy, but trying is a good thing. Adam is also freakishly beautiful, outside and in. I know he doesn't think he's physically beautiful, but he is. What he doesn't see that I and so many others do is the way the beauty inside shines through to the outside, in that big smile, the happy eyes, the laugh. The laugh always makes my day.
Briefly then, that is a summary of my Adam love. As I said, I've learned a lot about things that had never occurred to me before, things like fandoms, and fan forums, twittering, the effect of the internet on polite society and on how people view the objects of their desire. I've learned about nice people, and not nice people, over the top people and those who are clearly insane. I never knew that fan fiction existed and now I write it. It's amazing to me that I've wanted to write fiction my whole life and now I'm finally practicing it, and I love it. So far I'm not great, but it gets better and I'll keep trying.
I'll be blogging a lot because I have a lot to say about all of this. It's all been cooking in the back of my mind for the last year and I think I'm finally ready to say a few things. I like comments too and to start I'm going to leave it open. But, if the haters want to jump in and just hate without saying anything constructive then I'll close it down and moderate comments. Don't want to but one of the things I've learned is that haters are everywhere. You don't have to adore Adam Lambert, that's okay with me, but please say what you want to respectfully.
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